It's not everyday you summon a demon while trying to cook pasta
by ShadowProve13
Summary: All Asano wanted to do was cook pasta, but somehow that resulted in summoning a demon who's name is too complicated to say so he called her Ranmaru. Now he's stuck with her because he doesn't know how to send her back. Watch Asano Gakushu's seemingly perfect, planned-to-a-t life crumble into a hilarious chaotic mess. Who knew having a demon was like raising a child?
1. Asano and cooking are not a good mix

**Greetings Minna-san, I'm ShadowProve13 but feel free to call me Shadow-chan.  
Not my first fanfic, but this shall be my first one for Assassination Classroom.**

 **Anyway, this fic is about Asano's daily life which gets a bit crazy when he cooks up a demon… literally. Just for pure humour reasons. Probably bad puns here and there.  
Also just so you know, I have dyslexia so if you see any words mixed up like say I write "there" instead of "their" just leave a note in a review or something and I'll fix it.**

 **That's it, so enjoy~**

* * *

The sky was a colourful combination of oranges and pinks with small sprinkles of the first stars of the evening when Asano had finished his after-school activities. It was Friday, meaning that he had Judo lessons and tutoring, not that he needed the latter but rather he was the one doing the said tutoring. Out of the goodness of his heart? No, he could think of many things to fill his Friday afternoons with rather than teaching a bunch of snot-nosed brats; but those snot-nosed brats had snot-nosed rich parents that owned large companies, get in good with them would serve him well for his soon adult life.

Planning your future and making sure you had power to back you up is the only way to advance in life. Well, according to his father that is.

Asano let out a sigh. No, the last thing he wanted to think of was his father. He let his thoughts drift to the assignments he must complete over the weekend, one for English and the other for History, another for Biology, not that any of that would be a problem for him. He began mapping out his weekend and in what order he would complete his tasks, however, his mental planning for the weekend ahead was short-lived as he bumped into one person he'd really rather not have.

"Yo, Asano," The redhead greeted with his trademark smirk, one that irked him beyond belief. "Fancy meeting you here. How ya doing?"

"Akabane," Asano's eyes narrowed but made sure to not show any emotion. "I have no reason to talk to you, you're wasting my time," He replied bluntly. Karma let out a low chuckle and shoved the hand that wasn't carrying shopping bags into his pants pocket.

"Friendly as ever, I see. Even out of school you won't have a simple talk with me, how sad."

"I will not engage in a 'friendly' conversation with a lowly delinquent such as yourself. Do not think you can talk to me so freely as we are not on school grounds." Asano pushed passed, not looking back at the E-Class redhead, not even when he called out his name but he did catch what he said to him.

"Delinquent, noble, rich, poor – those words are just a label that defines us by how much paper we can fit in our wallets or how we proceed in life. In the end, when it comes down to it, we're all human."

Asano hated to admit it, but he knew what the boy said was true. But he would not get anywhere in life, not to his goal if he thought such. He would not allow himself to fall to the level of someone from the E-Class, who just 'go with the flow' of where life takes them. He was one who much preferred planning things ahead of time.  
He shook off those lingering thoughts and continued to plan for the weekend ahead as he walked through the remainder of the shopping district, heading home.

* * *

The strawberry blond was greeted by silence one he entered his house- or rather, mansion. It wasn't surprising, truthfully. His father came home long after Asano went to bed, and apart from the odd meeting at school, they only talked or spent time together in the morning during breakfast. It was also Friday, meaning the staff went home much earlier and had the weekend off.

He untied and took off his shoes, placing them down near the corner of the door where the rest were kept and then travelled up the flight of stairs to his bedroom that was at the end of the hallway. Once there, he placed his school bag in its proper place and took out his textbooks and homework, placing them on the study desk and then changed into a simple nightshirt and sweatpants.

" _Homework first or dinner?_ " Asano thought as he sorted the small pile of papers but before he came to a decision, his stomach decided for him. Which was best, he concluded, as his concentration would be best with a full stomach. With the decision made final, he made his way down to the kitchen quarters.

Now don't get him wrong, sure he's had quite a good grade in Home ec… for theory work. Practical? Not so much. He was still in the top 5 in the year for Home ec, but actual cooking was just not his thing. Usually, he would make some instant ramen, but of course, there was none left.  
Sighing, he went through some cupboards but nothing struck appealing to him. After a few more disappointing cupboard raids he noticed a book on a countertop. Curious, as he did not recognise the cover, walked over to the counter and looked at it. A simple brown, leather-bond covering. He flipped the cover page to have a look on the other side, there was just a name written with a sharpie, _Alice_. The name rang a bell, he suddenly recalled the new cook that started a few days ago was named Alice – a foreigner from Ireland who came to learn Japanese cuisine, she knew their head cook and his father agreed to take her in so she could study.  
"She must have left her notebook," Asano said to himself. As he was going to close the book, he noticed a sticky note marking a page. Of course, he knew that he shouldn't go through other people's stuff, but considering the sticky note has _pasta_ written on it neatly, he was too hungry to care.

He flipped to the page and saw what seemed a list of random ingredients jotted down in English, but they were easy to read, nothing too complicated. The ingredients did strike him as odd, but then again it could be a pasta recipe common in Ireland, he thought. He wasn't familiar with their foods, so he thought he would give it a try. However, he did note that pasta wasn't listed there, but shrugged it off as that's why the sticky note was there in the first place.

Raiding the cupboards once again, he managed to find all but two herbs needed. But Asano figured he could replace them with a spice similar to them… or the closest ones he could get his hands on. Looking at them, he figured it wouldn't make it taste that much different. They were imported from Italy, so they must give a good flavour kick at least.

He filled the cooking pot with water and placed it on the stove once it began to heat up, and threw in the Fettuccine pasta. He waited for it to soften down before adding the dried herbs and stirred it a little. "Now what was I supposed to do? Wait wasn't it….?" Asano murmured to himself, trying to recall the day they cooked a pasta dish in Home ec but was interrupted by the load ring of the household phone.

Asano walked off into the hallway and answered the phone. "Asano residents, Asano Gakushu speaking," He answered in a dull, monotone voice. He sighed, another person wishing to be business partners with his father's. "No, sorry, my father is out at the moment…. When? I'm not sure, it seems to be an important meeting…. Yes, what is the number?" The strawberry blond switched the phone into his left hand and grabbed the pen and notepad placed at the side of the phone and jotted down the phone number and name of the man who rang. "Alright, I shall tell him once he comes home…. You're welcome…. Yes, goodnight." He hung up and ran a hand through his hair.

He placed the phone back into its holder and tore off the page from the notepad which he had written on and placed it onto the pile of other small, ripped pages that had numbers and names written down on. It didn't matter whether he told him or not, those numbers were never touched by his father. If he wanted business partners, then he would give those potential ones his own phone number, not the household number. His father had his own system – the ones he gave the home number to were those he saw as weak and only wanted to join with him to gain some strength, the ones he gave his own mobile number to were those whom his father saw as a great asset.  
Asano started to straighten the objects on the small end table, arranging them neatly. Believe it or not, smalls things like this he found quite calming. He could arrange them any way he wanted, put them in any place he wished and they would not complain. And yes, he was well aware that they were inanimate objects, they could not complain.

He got so absorbed in what he was doing that he momentarily forgot about the pasta until a loud _crash_ and _bang_ of stainless steel coming from the kitchen brought him out of his trance. He stopped immediately and raced back to the kitchen quarters and groaned when he saw the pot, and pasta spread out all over the floor. "Oh give me a break...!" Asano bent down to pick up the cooking pot but completely forgot the part of it having handles and grabbed the sides. He felt the stinging sizzle of his hands being burnt, he dropped the pot and shook his hands up and down, letting out a few curse words.

A childish giggle echoed through the small room. "Well that was silly of you~" Asano froze and slowly looked up to the source of the sudden voice. His eyes widened. There, sitting on the counter top, was a female no younger than himself dressed in a very… peculiar dress consisting of darker and lighter shades of purple that seemed to have come straight out of the Victorian era in England but at the same time the word _Lolita_ came to mind. The girl had very pale skin, not the sickly kind, but almost milky. Her eyes were a bright sky blue and her hair was a rose pink colour that went down past her legs. And most of all, she had very pointy ears, almost elvish.

"Who the fuck are you….?" Now, Asano wasn't one for cursing, but he was tired, hungry, starting to get a headache, he just burnt both hand and now _this_? Yes, this was acceptable enough to curse at.

The strange girl titled her head to the side, confusingly. "Did you not… summon me?"

"Summon you?" Asano's left eye began to twitch slightly. "What do you mean I summoned you? Why are you here, in my house? And again, who are you?!"

"Like I said, you summoned me!" She pouted quite childishly, her cheeks puffed out. "You used those herbs to summon me," She pointed at the small jars of herbs on the counter. "I'm a demon!" She exclaimed while thrashing her arms about.

Asano stared at her, blinking quite rapidly.

" _Wait, what?_ "

* * *

 **And there we have it, the first chapter~ For those wondering, it's not gonna be romance, maybe hints between other characters. But this will be mostly humour.**

 **Hope ya enjoyed it, R &R~**

 **Xxx Shadow-chan**


	2. Today just isn't his day

**Hey everyone~! I'm back~~ (~o3o)~  
Honestly, I wasn't expecting for people to like this, so I was quite surprised by the reviews and follows/favs haha.**

 **Although this story will mostly be humour- well I'm hoping it'll be funny, I'm Australian so there may be chances of Aussie humour which some of you may not get lol. What was I saying? Oh yeah, it will be mostly humour but at times, there will be some serious parts and what not.  
Truthfully I don't know myself, seeing as 99.9% of the time when I write fanfics, I write it on the spot without actually thinking it through xD**

 **Well then, all I can say now is sit back and enjoy the chapter… or not.**

* * *

" _I'm a demon!"_

Those three words repeated over and over again in his mind. There was no way in hell that demo—bad choice of wording – there was no possible way for demons to exist. It just wasn't possible…!  
Asano doesn't remember actually doing it, but it seems right after the strange, cosplaying girl said that he walked back to his room, leaving the half-cooked pasta all over the floor. He didn't care. He was painfully hungry, had a throbbing headache that ceased to go away, he was absolutely tired from tutoring annoying children, his hands _fucking hurt_ , and now there was a weirdly dressed, self-proclaimed demon in his kitchen – he did not care about pasta being on the floor anymore.

"It's stress…," He mumbled to himself as he sat on his bed, trying to convince himself. "I'm just really stressed… and hungry… I'm just hallucinating." The strawberry blond grabbed a pillow and covered his face with it, letting out a strained, dying-cat-sound scream.

He fell backwards, back hitting the nice, cool bedsheets. He let out a relaxed sigh against the pillow after his not-so-mature screaming fit. He removed the pillow from his face and stared up at the ceiling—wait no, it wasn't the ceiling. Instead, he was staring into a pool of two big, bright blue eyes.

Hallucinating or not, he let out a yelp and rolled off the end of his bed, his heart felt like it was almost going to break out. Asano grabbed his head in pain, he hit the floor a bit too hard.

Today just wasn't his day.

"You're really silly~" The girl giggled. Asano sat up, still holding his head, and looked at the girl. She was floating above his bed, as in actually _floating_. Her long pink hair draped over her shoulders as she leaned forward, dangling just above the bed. It was like someone 'pixie-fied' Rapunzel.

"You–!" Asano growled in annoyance. "How did you get in here?! H-how are you… floating like that?!" All of this was not good for his poor head or heart. He didn't know which one would go _pop_ first.

The rosette puffed her cheeks into a pout. "I **told** you, I'm a demon! D-E—eeer… M…. uh…" She scrunched her nose and brow as if she was trying to solve a complicated math equation.

" _She can't even_ spell _it?!_ " Asano groaned, mentally facepalming. "O-N," He sighed when he saw her staring at him confusingly. "Demon – d-e-m-o-n." He spelt it out for her in a calmer way than the strange girl who basically shouted it beforehand.

"Yeah! That's it~" She grinned happily and lowered herself onto his bed. "So," She started, drawing out the 'o'. "Are you gonna make a contract with me?"

"A contract?" He repeated and watched her as she sat up on her knees and hugged the pillow he used to scream in, mumbling something about it being 'squishy'. "As in I give you my soul in exchange for some power?" He figured if he played along she would eventually leave or, at least, distract her for a while until the right time came across to call the police.

"Something like that," She answered but obviously seemed more interested in playing with the pillow, chucking it in the air and catching it. "There are lots of types of contracts; ones like selling your soul for powers, ones where you keep the demon for your entire life and then they take your soul once you die, and then there are ones where you can become a Nephilim~"

Asano blinked, the word 'Nephilim' was a new one to him. "Nephilim? What's that?" She stopped playing with the pillow and looked at him, something about her eyes sent a cold shiver down his spine. He did not know if it was because they had lost the bright, warm blue colour and were replaced by an icy cold stare or the fact for a split second he thought he saw them glow the colour of magenta.

But all of that went away as quick as it came. Her eyes were the warm bright blue again and a cheery smile formed. "A Nephilim is a human who becomes a demon once they die if they have a 'blood contract' with a demon," She explained, hugging the pillow again. "Blood contracts is when a demon inserts their blood into the human that only activates when it senses that human's blood flow and heart has essentially stopped in motion."

"I-I see…." Asano replied quietly. No, it wasn't like he was believing it… or was he? He wasn't sure himself. He grabbed the bedpost to help lift himself off the ground but pulled back when the stinging pain shot through it. He forgot about that.

"Your hands," She said and moved closer to the end of the bed, making him jump a little. "Did you hurt them when you picked up the shiny thing?" She asked and grabbed his hands, palm side up, staring at them.

" _Shiny thing…? Does she mean the cooking pot?_ " He concluded that is what she meant and nodded slowly. "I burnt them, yes…" He answered cautiously, watching her as she studied the reddening marks on his palms.

"I can heal them." She looked up and smiled at him.

"What do you mean?" Asano looked in awe when a pale green aura seemingly appeared around her hands and then 'grew' on his own. He wanted to pull back but hell, this girl had one strong grip even though she was holding them gently. A light buzzing sensation enveloped around his hands, and when she pulled away he was surprised to see the redness and pain had disappeared from his palms completely. He flexed his fingers, bringing them into a fist and then releasing. No pain whatsoever, it was they had never been burnt in the first place. "How did you…?"

"Healing magic, very handy~" She chimed. Asano sighed, he was at the point where he didn't care anymore, much like the pasta—

" _Oh right, the pasta… need to clean that up…_ " He sighed and pulled back his hands, grabbing the bedpost again for support as he pulled himself up. "Thanks… Anyway, Ms. Demon, what do I call you?"

"Call me…?" She titled her head to the side slightly.

"Your name," He rolled his eyes. "What's your name?" He saw her smile when the rosette seemed to understand and opened her mouth, but what came out was a bunch of gibberish in his opinion. "I'm sorry… what was that?" This time, it was her turn to sigh and repeated… whatever it was she said. Asano stared at her for what seemed the longest time before he finally spoke again. "I can't possibly say that."

"Understandable, I cannot translate my name into your language." She nodded to herself and flopped backwards onto the bed. "You may give me a name if you wish, as long as it is not a name of another demon."

So he could give her name now, huh? What, does he suddenly have a pet demon- wait, no, there he goes again… she's not a demon… but the fact she was floating in front of him and managed to heal his burns made it really hard for him to find a solution as to why. He groaned and looked around the room. His eyes landed on his history textbook which changed his thoughts to his assignments. For history, he was given the task to write a report on the loyal attendant of the daimyo Oda Nobunaga, Mori Ranmaru-

He snapped his gaze back to the girl. "Alright then," He got her attention. "You shall be known as 'Ranmaru' from now on."

The rosette's eyes sparkled at her new name. "Ranmaru~ Ranmaru~" She grinned as she repeated the name over and over in a childish manner. She stopped and looked at Asano. "What is your name?"

He blinked, it didn't occur to him to tell her his name. "Oh um… it's Gakushu. But please call me 'Asano'."

"Asano…," She said, stretching the name, sounding it out until she seemed to have pronounced properly.

He sat down at his desk in silence before asking her a question that she still hasn't answered him clearly yet. "So how exactly did I summon you with… the herbs, did you say?"

"Oh! That," She clapped her hands together. "See, the combination of herbs you used are an old way of summoning denizens of the Demon World, since you did not have a sigil paper with the herbs for a specific demon, you basically could have gotten any demon since there was just a portal. A big scary one maybe…"

What was this feeling? Oh yeah, relief. He was actually relieved that he summoned her and not something… well, 'big and scary'. Also, he doubts he'll be making pasta again anytime soon. "So why did you choose it?"

"Coming of age~" Ranmaru smiled as she answered. Asano blinked.

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"I just turned 14, that's when we're finally allowed to go to the human world~" She explained.

"Wait, you're 14?!"

"Yep. Now then," She clicked her fingers and piece of paper and a feathered pen appeared in her hands out of thin air. "Which contract would you like~?"

Oh yay, that twitch in his eye came back. "Do I _have_ to have one? Can't I send you back?"

"Do you know how to perform a _sending_?" She asked innocently, head tilted to the side.

"A… a what?"

"A sending"

"No… I don't-" Before he could finish, the piece of paper was shoved in his hands along with the pen.

"Please choose which contract you would prefer," She pointed at the list that had the types of contracts written down conveniently in Japanese. "And sign here." She pointed at the bottom where a blank spot was left.

Now then, if his father has taught him anything, it would be always read a contract form before signing it. "I'm not signing anything before I rea—" He stared at the paper where what he guessed were the 'terms and conditions'. "…. Is this even a language? I can't read this."

"… That's the point."

* * *

 **Well, that's it for now, guys. Funny stuff shall start next chapter, yosh~ (~o3o)~**

 **R &R~ **


	3. Neither is this day

**Greetings all (~o3o)~  
Honestly, all of your reviews give me motivation and a warm fuzzy feeling :3**

 **So as you can see, there really is no telling when I update. Sometimes I'll write a chapter in one afternoon, sometimes it'll take me two days. I'm in the process of trying to find a job and such, and sometimes I don't feel like writing. So bear with me xD**

 **That's all I gotta say really haha. Enjoy~**

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The alarm clock rang at 6 o'clock, but Asano was already awake and dressed to start Saturday morning. As every morning, at 6 o'clock, he would go downstairs to the dining room and have breakfast with his father. It was only on the weekends that his father actually cooked breakfast; by that he meant he would pour instant pancake mixture into a pan and flip them.

He never was the one to believe the silly things that food had to have heart and love put into it, but when his father cooks something about the food was sorely missing it.

The strawberry blond fixed the folded collar on his navy blue cotton button up shirt and combed his hair one last time. It felt like he was getting ready for a date rather than getting ready to have breakfast with his father. But the Chairman was very clear that he wouldn't have them wearing pyjamas at the dining table since you'd never know who would drop by. He looked into his wall mirror that showed the reflection of his bed – that had a pink haired fairy demon sitting on it.

Yes, you heard right. A _fairy_ demon. That is what he's dubbed her as. Because when he thinks of demons, he imagines them to have horns, wings, tails and ogre-looking faces. Not pink hair, elf-like ears, and her wings, which she can make come and go, look like butterfly wings. She explained that demons come in all shapes and forms, and that's how many of the human's stories of 'mythical creatures' came to be.  
But you don't want to hear about that, right? You want to know what happened after she shoved the contract paper into his hands. Well, he didn't sign it, like hell he was going to give her his soul – he kind of needed it. That's why she's glaring daggers at the back of his head right now, though, with the addition of her childish pout, it was hardly intimidating.

Asano headed to the door and placed his hand on the doorknob then turned back to face Ranmaru. "Stay here, do you understand? I can't have my father seeing you." The rosette looked at him but said nothing, he sighed. "If you stay put and be a good little demon, I may reconsider signing the contract, okay?"

Well, that got her attention. She nodded happily and gave him a salute. "I will stay here and defend the fort!" She chimed. This caused Asano to stare at her with a deadpan expression for the longest time – well actually it was like 5 seconds.

He recalled letting her watch TV last night to keep her distracted as he took a shower because the last thing he needed was her appearing in the shower. Well whatever it was that she watched, she seemed to like it to the point of mimicking it.

"O... kay then," He turned the doorknob and pulled the door open. "Do not move, got it?" He waited until she nodded before he left and shut the door. Asano moved swiftly down the stairs and entered the dining room where at the end of the long table sat his father with his breakfast in front of him as he read the newspaper. "Good morning." He greeted his father dully as he sat down at the opposite end of the table where his food was placed.

The Chairman folded his newspaper and placed it away. "Good morning, Asano-kun," He greeted his son with a flash of one of his many fake smiles. "Slept well, I hope?"

"Yes, I did." Asano replied as he started his breakfast. And what a surprise; pancakes.

"Good, good," The older Asano began eating his breakfast. After a few mouthfuls of the pancake, he took a sip of his coffee. "So, what do you have planned for today?"

The strawberry blond took a sip of his too overly strong, tangy orange juice. "I'll be doing my assignments for History, English and Biology. If I have time afterwards I'll practice Judo. We're also out of instant ramen, I need to go buy some more."

The Chairman just continued to smile his fake smile at his son. "I see, very good. But I do wish you would learn to cook proper food. Taking in those instant noodles every weekend can't be good for you."

" _You're one to talk, Mr. Instant-Pancakes-Every-Bloody-Weekend._ " Asano thought with a slight twitch of his left eye. He really needed to get that checked out…. "Last night I cooked pasta, actually," He told his father, excluding the part of accidentally summoning a demon in the process.

"Well, it's a start." He ended with a chuckle. "Oh, when I came home last night it sounded like you were talking to someone in your room."

 _Shit_

"Ah, I was on the phone talking to Ren." Oh, he hoped his father bought that…

"At 1 o'clock in the morning?" The Chairman raised an eyebrow, looking at the strawberry blond as he nodded slowly but then gave him another fake smile. "I understand you're a teenager and all and it wasn't a school night, though do try not to make a habit of it."

"Yes, of course." After that, the father and son ate in silence until the ringing of the Chairman's phone cut through. He excused himself to take the call and returned moments later, apologising that he had to leave earlier and asked for him to clean up the dishes and left.

Asano moved his plate to the side and his face hit the surface of the table without a care in the world. Or the fact that he was pretty sure blood was flowing out of his now sore nose. Though that did not matter, he continued bashing his head against the table another three times. "I'll kill him. I'll kill him. I will cause his utter defeat. I'll kill him…." He muttered against the wood.

"I don't understand," The now familiar female voice started. "What has that table done to you?"

Asano lifted his head and turned to look at Ranmaru who was hovering an inch off the ground at the entrance of the dining room. Her eyes filled with pure curiosity. He groaned. "Didn't I tell you to stay in my room?"

"I sensed his presence leave the house and thought it was safe to come down…." She glided over to Asano and stood beside him. "And your aura has turned dark, I was worried."

He let out a low chuckle. "A demon worried about a human? That's new." He watched as her eyes narrowed softly and listened as she spoke.

"We denizens of the Demon World are not the evil creatures you humans portray us as. We have many emotions like humans. We have families, we can fall in love and have children, we can feel sadness, joy, fear, anger. All the emotions that humans feel, we can feel too." She explained in a gentle tone. "Humans fear us because we are different from them…"

"Some don't believe in your kind at all. This day and age many people don't believe in things like the bible. But if demons exist, does God exist then?" He gave her an inquisitive stare.

"That is something not even I can answer, Asano." She smiled half-heartedly as he asked why. "This 'God' some of you humans believe in; it cannot be easily answered whether he exists or not. For my people, we do not know why we exist or how we came to exist. While we know we exist beside the humans, we do not know your full history, as you do not know ours. So, we cannot answer if the humans were created by a divine being, when we ourselves do not know how we came to be."

Asano blinked, letting her long response sink in. When it came to things from the human world, she acted so childishly towards it but when she spoke of her world she sounded so much more mature. Culture shock, he supposed. "Yeah, makes sense, I guess. Not that I believe in God."

Ranmaru wasn't listening however, her eyes were glued to the plate that still had two uneaten pancakes on. "What is… that?" She asked, pointing at the plate.

"Hmm?" Asano looked at the plate and back to her. "Pancakes."

"Pan… cakes…?" She titled her head slightly and leaned closer to the plate and poked the food. She broke out a grin and a small fit of giggles. "It's squishy!" She continued to poke them.

Asano's eye twitch came back and grabbed her hand. "You don't poke them, you eat them!" with his free hand he picked up the one resting on the top and shoved it into her mouth. "Now, eat." He let go of hand and watched as she started to chew and swallow a bit of the pancake. Her eyes lit up and quickly ate the rest.

"It's nice~!"

* * *

By lunch time, Asano had already completed his History assignment and the Biology assignment. Now all that was left was his English one, which was pretty easy since he can speak and read the language fluently.

"Heeeeey, I'm bored!" Ranmaru pouted from his bed. "You've been looking at books all day…."

Asano sighed, opening the textbook to the correct page. "It's for school, I need to finish them."

"Couldn't you, at least, talk to me…?" Even though his back was turned to the rosette, he could feel that she was giving him the best 'puppy-dog eyes' she could muster. Ranmaru did not like being ignored, especially after refusing the sign the contract again. She told him that getting her first contract meant she would become a fully-fledged demon.

"Fine," He agreed as he started to write down some notes. "Why is it you look so human? You told me that you all come in different shapes and forms."

"Ah! Good question~" She chimed. She seemed happy, at least. "We can alter our bodies to make our chosen contractees feel more comfortable and will more likely sign the contract. My actual skin colour is more like… umm… my hair colour~"

"So pink?"

"Pin…k? So that's what it's called."

"Yeah, pink. Why, do you call it something else?"

"In the Demon World, we call it one of the many colours of human fle-"

"I'll keep on calling it pink." Asano cut her off, eye slightly twitching again. Yeah, he _really_ needed to get it checked out. "So by 'alter' your body, what do you mean exactly?"

"Well, we usually take on the forms of that person's sexual desires and lure them into the contract," She explained to him while smiling.

" _What did you say about your kind not being evil…?_ " Asano sweatdropped.

"And," She continued. "I thought that since you were male I'd keep my appearance but make myself look more human and lure you into a contract, but, it seems that has not worked." She sighed.

"No, it has not." He clarified and continued to read out his textbook.

"Hey, Asano?"

"Hm?"

"Am I not a bit attractive to you enough to sign a contract?"

"Not even a little."

"Oh I see," Ranmaru titled her head and suddenly a little lightbulb appeared above her head. "Hey, Asano?"

"What?" He groaned.

"Is the reason you're not attracted to me because your sexual desires lean towards the same sex?"

(If you listened closely, you could hear the crickets chirp…)

"Eeeek!" Ranmaru dodged as a certain English textbook nearly hit her in the face. Asano was standing up, his face red – blushing? Anger? Maybe a bit of both?

"NO WAY IN HELL!"

"I'M SORRY!"

* * *

 **Hehehehehe ~(o3o~) ~(o3o)~ (~o3o)~**

 **Virtual cookies to those who find the** _ **Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro**_ **reference.**

 **Until next time~ Bye bye~**


	4. Shopping is harder than it looks

**Yople everyone~**

 **Sorry for the inactiveness, aside from looking for a job I've been having personal issues regarding family. Also, I've had a bit of writer's block, but hopefully, that's cleared.**

 **Updates may still be random, whenever I'm in the mood to write I guess.**

 **Anyway, enjoy… or not, why are you still reading this if the latter opinion? You're weird…**

* * *

 _Saturday, 2:45PM_

What would be the worst possible thing you could think of that a teenage male would have to do?

Have an answer?

Do you?

No clue?

Don't know?

Do you give up at this point?

Are these annoying yet?

Alright.

It's _shopping_. More precisely, _clothes shopping_. For a **girl**. A **demon** girl.

Asano knew at this point that the she-devil would follow him everywhere, and that included public places. Ranmaru would get away with her elvish ears, blue eyes and bright pink hair, she could pass off as a foreigner easily. However, it was her clothes that drew attention to her.

So after finishing off his English homework, Asano needed to go shopping and get some instant ramen for dinner. But of course, the little eyesore who under strange circumstances he managed to summon through the miraculous power of pasta wanted to tag along. He had no choice, he didn't know when his father would come back and if he left her alone in the house… well, he was afraid to come home and discover something else from the Demon World in there.  
As they made their way to the nearest food store where he usually buys his instant ramen, he couldn't help but feel as though people were staring. It was getting uncomfortable, truthfully. The strawberry blond would occasionally glance over to the pinkette beside him to make sure she wasn't floating or anything else. She wasn't. She was walking down the street normally, holding up the skirt of her dress so it wouldn't drag or be stepped on—that's when he realised.

 _It was her damn Victorian Era multi-purple dress._

It was just so out of place. It resembled a _Lolita_ style, but not entirely. Hell, the dress made even the _Harajuku_ style seem normal. An elderly woman even stopped Ranmaru to compliment her dress and told her that she 'hoped the costume party would be fun.' The demon went along and gave her thanks.

And that is how the trip to the convenience store ended up taking a 180 turn to the nearest clothing shop. When they arrived, they were greeted by two females who were too outgoing and loud for his liking. The women, of course, paid no attention to the young male but immediately gravitated over to Ranmaru.

"Wow! Look at this dress, Kana-chan!" The one with dark hair and red dyed tips exclaimed to her co-worker, Kana, who had short peroxide blonde hair.

"You're right, Izumi-chan!" Kana agreed and grabbed part of Ranmaru's dress, examining it. "What material is this made of? It's so soft!"

Asano's eye twitched, yet again. Really, maybe he should go see an eye doctor… " _Hell… I've found Hell…."_ He thought to himself as the women moved on from the young demon's dress to gushing over her skin and hair. Ranmaru stood there in place, very confused. She looked over at Asano with eyes that pleaded him to 'save' her.

Asano saw his chance. He went to the two women and cleared his throat, getting their attention. "My, eeer… my cousin here, she needs clothes… she lost her luggage at the airport and she only has what she's wearing. Yeah…." He facepalmed mentally, that was the best he could do? Honestly, he surprised himself when he decided that she was his 'cousin'. He got out his wallet and grabbed a fistful of Yen paper notes and gave it to the women who just ogled at the amount given to them. "Get her as much as that can buy." With that, Asano turned around and headed to the door, telling Ranmaru that he was going to buy ramen and left, leaving the poor girl with a look of betrayal on her face.

"Isn't he a bit young to have… this much money…?" Izumi asked to no one in particular as she stared at the money.

"Who cares," Kana stated, taking the money out of her co-worker's hand. "So, what's your name~?" She grinned at Ranmaru, bending down to reach the girl's short height.

"I'm… Ranmaru."

* * *

As expected, the store was filled with people. Usually, the maids did the shopping and Asano would just tell them what he wanted. But on rare occasions, he would run out of things during the weekend and walked down to the nearest convenience store. All he wanted was some instant ramen, but then he realised that the young demon also needs to eat.

Thus, his current dilemma; trying to find something she would eat. She could have allergies to certain foods that he doesn't know of, or just simply doesn't like human food. She did like the pancakes… also, she ate a few biscuits while he did his homework. But he didn't think a diet of pancakes and biscuits was particularly healthy. He supposed he could just feed her ramen… or cereal. Asano sighed, thinking that it wouldn't be any better even if she was with him since she knew nothing of human foods. He went for a safe option and picked out some flavoured yoghurt – healthy and sweet, the young demon seemed to like sweet foods.  
Letting out a yawn, Asano placed the yoghurt into the shopping basket and made his way to the checkout. However, he stopped before he reached the checkout. Someone caught his eye.

There stood a very… odd-looking man. He was large and… well, weird looking. His head looked like a beach ball. The man was standing in front of the pudding section, looking back and forth at the different flavours. It took him a while, but it finally clicked. He was Class E's weird teacher. He saw him at the assembly once. Part of him felt somewhat sorry for the teacher, being placed in Class E and all. But seeing as he was currently crying over which goddamn _pudding_ he should pick, he wasn't surprised.

" _Who knows, could be a demon. After all, Ranmaru mentioned they alter their bodies…_ " Asano let out a sigh, scolding himself at how easily he's come to believe that those creatures exist… well, he couldn't deny that Ranmaru was not very human, she looked the part but floating? Healing burns in a split second? Not very human-like. Shaking his head, dismissing all current thoughts, he continued down to the checkout and paid for his food.

Upon exiting the store, Asano walked back to the clothing shop and saw Ranmaru talking to the two store clerks. He entered the shop and the pinkette rushed to his side, hands full of bags filled with clothes and seething glare – not that it was frightening, like he had mentioned before, the pout was hardly terrifying.

"You left me!" Ranmaru exclaimed, arms crossed. Asano rolled his eyes.

"I had to do the shopping. Plus, it was quicker this way." He turned towards the two girls and bowed. "I apologise if she was any trouble."

Kana and Izumi waved their hands dismissively. "No, no," Kana reassured him. "It was actually quite interesting to talk with your cousin. I've never heard of a place called 'Qulfia' before, but it sounds really cool." She grinned. All colour from Asano's face drained.

" _Qulfia? Don't tell me… was she talking about her world?!"_ Asano took a deep breath to calm down. He had told the young demon to not tell people she was demon. By the look on the two women's faces, she didn't tell them such things… hopefully. "A-ah good, good. Well, we should go home now. Right, Ranmaru?" He looked at her with a fake smile.

"Eeer… yeah!" Ranmaru grinned and bid farewell to the two store owners, who insisted that she'd come back again. She could, but he certainly was not planning on spending a day in a woman's clothing store.

"What in the world is 'Qulfia'?" Asano asked, or rather demanded as they walked back to his house. He couldn't just have her blurting out all this nonsense after all.

"Qulfia is the proper name of the Demon World." She explained and jumped when she saw his expression. "I-I-I didn't tell them that, I promise! Th-they asked me where I was from so I said "Qulfia", they think it's some small town…"

Asano sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, as long as they think that…" After that, they walked in silence until he noticed Ranmaru rustle through one of the bags.

"Hey, Asano?"

"Yeah, what?" He watched as she brought something out of the bag.

"What is this?" She asked innocently. Asano's face went redder with each second. He stepped backwards and fell into the bush behind him. "E-eh? Asano? Are you okay?!" She panicked. But he didn't care.

She was holding up a _**bra**_.

A pink, lacy bra.

In broad daylight.

In **public.**

"PUT THAT THING AWAY!"

* * *

 **And there we go~ Sorry it's short, but that's all I could think of for now o3o**

 **Until next time~!**


	5. Brainwashing and bubbles baths? Joy

**Hey, everyone~  
Sorry for the wait, been a bit hectic lately. I haven't been able to find a job so I've been put on this Job Seeker Youth Allowance and I get paid like $200 a fortnight as long as I go apply for 20 jobs in that fortnight…. There's like 30 stores in my town, they're probably gonna think I'm so bloody desperate coming back every 2 weeks to them asking for a job lmao.**

 **My personal life aside. Time for Chapter 5~! Yosh o3o**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

Sunday was supposed to be a normal morning. Keyword being _'was'_. It started out normal for Asano; he woke up, had a shower and got dressed, all before 6 o'clock in the morning. But there was one thing missing, or rather, there was a person missing.

"Tsk," Asano clicked his tongue as he looked around his room; under his bed and even up on the ceiling – the demon girl had a strange habit of sleeping… against the ceiling. "Where did she wander off to?" He mumbled to himself as made his way to his own personal bathroom, taking a look inside. "Not here either," He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe she went back where she came from? I never did sign that contract." A part of him felt relieved he didn't have to put up with the nuisance, but the other half felt annoyed that he spent all that money on clothes and food for her. What was he even going to do with all the yoghurt? He doesn't even _like_ yoghurt!

Shaking his head, he exited the bathroom and headed downstairs to the dining room but stopped halfway down as two familiar voices reached his ears. _"That sounds like Father and…._ " Asano's eyes widened at the realisation and some of the colour drained from his cheeks. He then, in a full sprint, ran down the remaining stairs and into the dining room. He grabbed the door frame for support before he lost balance from coming to a sudden halt.

There, at the dining table, was his father, his newspaper neatly folded to his side and the plate with his breakfast in front of him, untouched. To his right on the side was none other than the pink haired demon, who was wearing a simple mint-green dress with puffy shoulder sleeves that she had bought (technically he did) yesterday. " _This is_ _ **not**_ _happening…_ " Asano thought, his mind still not processing what he was currently witnessing.

"Ah!" The Chairman finally noticed his son at the doorway and smiled, a fake one, of course. "Asano-kun, you're just in time. Come, sit." The older Asano beckoned him, in which he complied and sat down at his usual spot. He looked at Ranmaru as she gave him a soft and gentle smile before looking back at his father as he resumed talking. "I don't know if you remember her since you met as young children, but this is your cousin Ranmaru. She'll be staying with us for a while as her parents have left the country due to work."

 _Say. Fucking. What?_

Asano felt that twitch in his eye slowly building up again and looked at Ranmaru once more who once again gave him that gently smile. "It's nice to see you again, Asano-san. Uncle has told me lots about you."

"Now, now, Ranmaru," His father said in a sickly sweet tone with a smile. "No need to be so formal, he is your cousin after all. He won't mind if you call him Gakushu, right?" He turned his smile to me, but rather it was an "agree, right now" type of smile.

"Ah, n-no of course not. Gakushu is fine…" The strawberry blond answered unsurely but managed to cover it well. "I… didn't know she would be staying with us. Why didn't you tell me?"

The Chairman just kept on smiling. "It was actually short notice for me as well, actually. I got a phone call during the night, asking if I would take her since we're the closest relatives. I couldn't say no; family is family, after all." Asano stared at his father with a deadpan expression. On the inside, however, he was suppressing the urge to gag at those lifeless words. "Well then, I must excuse myself now," The Chairman announced. "I have work that needs attending." He stood up and told his son he should show Ranmaru around the house and then left.

Asano waited until he heard the front door closing, his head snapped to the female demon and spoke in a harsh voice. "What the hell did you do?!"

Ranmaru rose her hands up to her chest in defence. "W-well, last night you were saying how bad it would be if your father found me and I didn't want you to be tense all the time because of it, so..." She trailed off, mostly trying to think of the right words.

" _So,_ what?"

She lowered her head slightly from shyness, tapping the index finger on each hand together repetitively. "So… I sort of… kind of… used my magic on your father to make him truly believe I was your relative…"

The room fell silent as Asano processed her answer. "You… brainwashed my father?"

"I-I-I wouldn't say it in those words exactly." She stammered and looked anywhere but at Asano until he started chuckling. She looked at him, tilting her head to the side. "What's so funny?"

"Pfft-! You brainwashed my father! It's the most ironic thing I've ever witnessed!" Asano had to cover his mouth to prevent him from laughing out loud, in which he just ended up snorting a laugh.

* * *

"Asaaaaaanoooo~!"

Asano sighed and turned his head to the side. Ranmaru was leaning over the top of the couch with a pout and look of boredom on her face. Since all of his chores had been done and other self-appointed tasks, he figured he could peacefully continue a book he became reading, however, that doesn't seem to be the case with the loud mouth demon who seems to have no desire to leave him alone. "What is it?" He asked with little interest in what she actually wanted to say.

"I'm bored," Ranmaru whined, flipping herself over so her back was arching over the couch.

"Good to know." Asano rolled his eyes and went back to reading his book. It was worse enough she sticks to him like glue during the day, but at night it's worse; because he's worn out from the day and she is still energetic as ever.

"Oh come on! You haven't played with me all day." She huffed a lock of hair out of eyes and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for the violet-eyed boy to respond to her.

"Go read something then."

"Eeeeh? I don't want to!"

Asano groaned and closed his book. Did he have to get down on his knees and pray for one minute of peace and quiet? Because he was strongly considering it. He looked at the time, it was almost 9 o'clock. Since he had school in the morning he planned on going to bed early but before that get some reading done, aka something that was not going to happen with her around. " _Maybe I should take a shower now instead of doing it in the morning…._ "

That was when the greatest idea popped into his head. Well, not the greatest, but still a good one. He turned to Ranmaru and gave her a small smile. "Alright, it's bath time for you."

"Eh?"

"I have to get up early tomorrow, and I suspect that Father wants you to attend school as well. So you should go have a bath now so you don't waste time in the morning." He explained as he got off the couch. "You do want to go to school with me, right?"

"Of course, I do!" Ranmaru nodded and smiled brightly.

"Then it's settled." With that the both of them headed upstairs and entered Asano's personal bathroom that was across the hall from his bedroom. He ran the bath and made Ranmaru test the water to make sure she wouldn't complain that it was too hot or too cold. To keep her entertain he poured some liquid soap into the water to create bubbles, which, by Ranmaru's excited reaction, was a good idea. "Alright, it's done. Get undressed and hop in. I'll be downstairs."

"Eh? Aren't you having one?" She asked with an innocent intention but none the less, it made him blush at the thought. Don't make that look, he's a teenaged male; it's completely normal.

"I-I'll go once you're finished!" Asano exclaimed and headed to the door, only for the pink haired demon to grab his arm and pull him back. "Let go!"

"But I'll be lonely!"

"And I don't want to see you naked!" He struggled to pull his arm out of her grip. Had he ever mention that she was super strong? Ranmaru took a step back and pulled a bit harder than she should have and lost her balance along with Asano.

 _ **Splash!**_

Asano held the back of his head that hit the tiled wall behind him, not badly but it still hurt. He looked down, and just like he thought, he was submerged in water and covered in bubbles and his clothes were now all drenched and felt like they weighed a tonne. He looked over at the young demon who was in the same situation as him, except giggling to her heart's content and making herself cat ears on her head out of the bubbles.

His eye began to twitch again.

How much longer did he have to put up with this?

* * *

 **And there we go~! Not the best thing in the world but it's done. Don't want to keep you guys waiting months on end for a new chapter haha.  
** **I swear the chapters look longer when I write them up.**

 **Well, R &R and I shall see you later~**


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